Burning Fire

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

- Woody Allen -

The piper I'm a paying. 2:30 a.m. and I can't sleep. I'm sitting up waiting for the prevacid to kick in. Too, much popcorn and M&Ms while watching the Bachelor. Which brings up the question...how could you choose someone that you had to ask, "where's the passion"? Talk about no fire. Mom always use to say, marry someone that you're proud to be with, that makes you feel like a better person, and that you love to kiss. It will get you through the bad times! I say, "Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, in the end it fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright...and life & love can bring a lot of dark days. Humor and intelligence...that's what does it for me now....that and prevacid.

In the blink of an Eye

"Everything is in a process of change, nothing endures; we do not seek permanence."—

Masatoshi Naito

Things change Quickly
Whatever happens trust that it serves Divine will and is thus perfect

Last night things changed, just that fast. We pulled into the turning lane, and just as we started to accelerate, two beautiful dogs darted in front of our car. We scooped them up and drove quickly to the nearest veterinarian. Sweet Maggie and Baby Toby...Toby looked the worst, but by the time we left, the owner's were there and it looked like everything would be alright....and we had fallen in love with these two beautiful creatures. Tonight, we were shocked to hear that Sweet Maggie had died....Nothing was broken on Toby, just a few cuts, and Maggie had a skinned nose...they were both sent home. Later that night, Maggie slipped away

...In the blink of an eye...

"Friends"

Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend

~Plautus~

There have been women in my life.... best friends. We exercised together, gave birthday parties for our children, shared week long vacations, spent weekends going to dinner and a movie, shared secrets, disappointments, heartache...went to soccer games, baseball games, church activities, worked together on committees, shopped til we dropped, enjoyed long lunches full of laughter, took care of each other when we were sick, brought flowers when a loved one died, babysat for each other. Friends...people I liked, even loved. People I trusted...until I didn't.

So, how do you know when a friend is really a friend???When you don't have to ask.

Ambition

The dreams that are difficult to reach are the
dreams that have the most value. For they compel you to stretch your abilities,
your knowledge and your expectations beyond previous limits.

Sometimes when I think of people who have excelled, top in their game, world wide fame....it's amazing! Where does one find that kind of single mindedness, that dedication, and discipline?

Yet, to give up everything else, to excel in one thing? It's a moment of grace and beauty....but is it worth it?

The Perfect Syndrome

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Another day.....stayed at work to study tonight. I enjoy the experiencing of learning, of challenging myself. I don't like to fail.... It's not that I mind not passing an exam, but I hate having other people know that I didn't pass. That's when I feel the pressure..that need to be perfect.

The old "everything is either perfect, or it's ruined." No in-between, no middle ground...Where did that come from? The truth is that we are always in a state of change. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the better....We do the best we know how to do, and when we know better, we do better. So if Emerson is right, then our life is what ever we think it to be.

Reality Check

After a time you sort of give up trying to escape who you are.

Stephen Frears, Director

Wow, it's hard getting old. You think you still look 18, then you walk past a store window, catch a glimpse of a middle aged, overweight, woman and realize it's you!

Self Approval

"When you know better, you do better"

I've decided I want this to be the one place I can come and think out loud, processing my thoughts and feelings without feeling guilty. I want this to be an honest appraisal, of who I am, and whom I'm becoming. Maybe I'll feel one way today and another tomorrow. But I won't feel a need to explain, or ask for one's approval.

An Act of Faith

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.

Erich Fromm

Minding the Mind

SOME DAYS ARE FOR LIVING, OTHERS FOR GETTING THROUGH

MALCOLM S. FORBES

My head has been in a really bad place for a couple of weeks now. Can't seem to get centered. No discipline when it comes to my thoughts. They take me where ever I let them. Places I don't want to be anymore. This morning at church, we talked about having reverence in our lives. I need to show reverence for myself, and let go of thoughts that keep me in a dark, crazy, place. To be able to feel safe and secure and let go of old pain. To trust....maybe it's hard for me to trust, because I have no trust in stopping my own thought process.

Hmmm...

What Ifs

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it

I hate Saturdays. Too much unstructured time. Should be studying for my CFP exam, doing anything but.

miss Taylor...it will be 6 years this May. Saturdays....too, much time to think...some things just hurt too much

FYI

I recently became aware of a great injustice! Go to Brandon Hein's link....... decide for yourselve.

WWW.BRANDONHEIN.COM