Find Your Passion

Buried Treasure

 

This made me cry.  I have many buried treasures deep within my heart.  One will surface unexpectedly and my cup runneth over with tears of joy or tears of sorrow....I'll stop and hold it close; miss it, treasure it,  then bury it once more.

 

Letter to my Children

December 8, 2014

 

 

Dear Collette, Trevor and Justin:

I’ve done little else but think of my beautiful children the last 24 hours.  I am so sorry that you have had to experience the heartache that has become part of your life. 

As a parent I had hoped to keep the devastation of divorce from your life and I had always prayed that your father’s addictions would never affect the relationship that you have had with him.  Yet here we are.

I am so very proud of each of you.  Proud that you were able to speak to your father of your sadness and disappointment with his choices; Proud that you were able to speak to him of gospel principles;  Proud that you are able to separate his addiction as a human experiencing life from whom he really is, a spiritual being.  This isn’t something children should have to do.

This morning I’ve been contemplating ‘what now’.  What would you have me do now, Lord and the prominent, overwhelming thought is ‘facilitate your children’s healing’.

When I attended the temple in 1992 the Lord clearly spoke to my mind through the life of Peter.  The message was that Peter had not betrayed the Lord but himself.  Because of that experience, I have for the most part been able to separate your father’s actions from me.  It was the one deciding factor that allowed us to stay together as long as we did.  This morning I believe additional information was revealed to me that may be helpful to each of you.

My patriarchal blessing tells me that my main mission in life is to be a mother.  It mentions gifts of faith, knowledge and healing, for me and others.  With that in mind I am better able to see why I chose to marry your dad and why I would need the gifts the Lord was blessing me with.

As a mother my primary goal was to raise well adjusted, spiritual, kind children who would be blessed with strong testimonies to support and sustain them through their earthly journey.   I could not have chosen a better man to help me with that task than your father.

It was he who arranged for scripture study, family home evenings and regular church attendance.  He provided a strong example of service to others and to his church.  He helped you with your homework.  He attended your every activity and helped with coaching when he could.   He guided you through scouting and worked hard to provide for your every need.  He was fun, and played with you.  He was musical, and used his talents to entertain you.  He read to you and blessed you when you were ill.  He was strict when he needed to be.  He was soft spoken and gentle.

He wasn’t perfect, but he was darn close.  I would look at other men and how they interacted with their children and there wasn’t one I would have traded him for.

He loves each of you with all of his heart.  I truly think he is doing the best he can do.  Hopefully, when he can do better he will.

I want you to know that I trust in your love.  I want you to know that loving your father is not a betrayal to me.  Yes it’s difficult that someone who can cause so much pain is the same someone whom we love…but such is the character of love; to love unconditionally.

I pray that you will be guided and inspired regarding your relationship with your father.   I want you to know that I will support you and find a way to be at peace with whatever that relationship is including his marriage to Joan.   Nothing is more important to me than your happiness, and now my grandchildren’s happiness.

So it goes like it goes, like the river flows and time it rolls right on.  And maybe what’s good gets a little bit better and maybe what’s bad gets gone. (Dusty Springfield)

You are my life and I thank each of you for the unspeakable joy you give me.

To the moon and back,

Mom  xxoo