Get Real

‘Leave Your Halo Behind, Faking Angel You’re Running Out of Time!’

Jolie Holland

Out of the following list, pick six values that seem to match you:

Achievement Satisfaction Money Fulfilment Happiness Relationships Friendship Freedom Responsibility Team work Working with people you like Trust Honesty Integrity Security Making a difference Helping others Power Ambition Being in control Enjoyment/Fun Variety.

To be real, you have to live your life according to your core values and that means that you use them as a checklist for any decisions you make or action you take. Now, look closely at the values you picked...does your behavior match up with your values???

....in other words, you should be the same person, regardless of who you are with or where you are.

I hate to see people who pretend to be someone they're not. If you are a different person in public than you are at home with your family, then I think you need to quit pretending. What kind of person treats strangers like royalty and then comes home and treats their family

like sh__t?

If you have two sets of values, one for the world and one for your family, then it's time to get real.

If you're so concerned what other's think of you, why not start at home.

MKC

Becoming

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.

Anais Nin

Most of us have an image in our mind of the person we'd really like to become.

However, German philosopher and playwright Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote:

"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do."

How can you actually become the person you want to be?

Don Blohowiak suggests that you read self-help books... imitate the actions of people you admire... seek critical evaluation from those around you...

All such tactics likely will help. But it takes more. For example:

Identify and write down specific behaviors that will commit you to live the life you've declared for yourself.
Remind yourself frequently of your commitment to acting in ways that are consistent with your declared, self-defined identity.
Several times a day, stop yourself and assess your actions:

How consistent are they with the goal toward which you're striving?

What do you need to do so that you are, in fact, acting in accord with your own code of conduct?

Following is his daily meditation...I think it's a good one

99 Words for Every Day

I live today with gratitude, humility, and patience, accountable for:
Serving others;

Building, never destroying;

Sharing my gifts freely and abundantly, needing neither notice nor credit; Treating everyone with compassion, candor, and fairness;

Encouraging others generously;

Honoring others' feelings;

Regarding everyone as peer and teacher;

Appreciating differences while withholding judgments;

Trusting others, assuming only good intentions;

Forgiving quickly when I feel wronged;

Holding my tongue when I want to criticize or condemn;

Complaining only with love;

Being a source of comfort, inspiration, and joy for all I am privileged to meet; Living as I want the world to be.

~~~~~PARTING THOUGHT~~~~~

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Change is the one thing we can count on....So why not change for the better?

MKC

Enough Already!

It's Your LIfe

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined..."

Thoreau, Henry David

My mother was in her 60s, when she began taking piano lessons...my daughter-in-laws father was in his 40s when he started law school...and here I am at 53 starting voice lessons....isn't life great!

It's never too late to try something new

Leonardo Da Vinci said: a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death. He went on to say: Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.

I love the idea that we can continue to grow and develop in every aspect of our life for as long as we live and beyond...what a marvelous opportunity to discover, to interpret, to enlarge our world by exploring ourelves and perhaps finding untapped talents and abilities.

Do we take the time to look around us, to explore new ways of thinking, doing, being... Reading good books, listening to new ideas, finding out what life means to others? Allowing ourselves to change....Or, do we let our lives become so small....that we aren't tuned in to who we really are...or what exits outside our boundaries. Do we lose the quest to become?

I look at this burka-clad woman, in Kabul, Afghanistan, holding her tired child while she shops for food for her family and ask myself....

is there really anything such as an ordinary life???

Each of us is so extrodinary... Perhaps we " look at our life as a thing of broken pieces, because our mistakes and failures are always the first to strike us, and outweigh in our imagination what we have accomplished and attained." (--GOETHE, Maxims and Reflections)...What we can still attain.

Consider this:

At age 53:
Ludwig van Beethoven completed his Ninth Symphony despite being so deaf that, at the end of its first performance, he could not hear whether the audience was applauding.
Best-selling American author Sidney Sheldon began writing his first novel.
Inventor Walter Hunt patented the safety pin.
Long-time dissident Vaclav Havel became president of Czechoslovakia.
Jimmy Carter facilitated the Camp David accords between Israel and Egypt.
Robert E. Peary reached the North Pole.

Who knows....maybe I'll make Broadway

MKC

You're Wearing That?

Mother, Daughter relationships...yikes!

Our family would pile into the car on week-ends and head to Gooding to see Aunt Adrian and Uncle Carl. Aunt Adrian was my mother's older sister. Mom was more like a daughter to her. She lived with them in-between marriages, and maybe even before. Uncle Carl, was a man's man. Tall, handsome, a cowboy...the strong silent type with an emphasis on silent. Needless to say, we were there to impress. Even though it was an hour and a half trip at the most, we would have to stop outside of town at a gas station... to clean-up. We were always dressed in the best of whatever we had, and our hair washed, conditioned, shined and curled. We were never allowed to disagree or make a fuss. And we never sat in Uncle Carl's chair! Remarkably, I loved going there. It meant Dad and Mom would get along all week-end.

But, I digress...my point is that we learned at an early age, that children were to be seen and not heard...unless we were asked to sing, or play the piano, or recite something we had learned in school. And we learned that there was a right way to dress, to wear our hair, to sit, to walk....Nothing was left to chance...we were there to make mom look great.

This lesson in behavior created a dynasty of perfectionists. Never good enough, pretty enough, rich enough, fun enough, smart enough...you get the picture.

Knowing this as a young adult, I vowed to never put those kind of restrictions on my children. I wanted them to have their own identity. To feel confident disagreeing with their elders...to express themselves through their clothes and hair syles....to be an individual.

I felt the condemnation of my own siblings, who had learned their lessons well. But I stood my ground and all in all, I think I did a pretty good job, I mean, an ok job... well I could have done better....oh, just say it...I really messed up!

MKC

Is That All There Is?

I was about sixteen years old when I first heard a song sung by Peggy Lee, called ``If That's All There Is.''

I remember my mother playing it on our stereo, while singing and dancing with a pretend partner in our tiny living room. She seemed at the same time, both beautiful and lonely. It made me overwhelmingly sad.

In this song, she sings about having a number of incredible experiences, And at the end of each experience, she feels a great disappointment and sings, ``Is that all there is?

"Is That All There Is?'' (written by Stoller & Lieber) is actually taken from a story called ``Disillusionment'' by Thomas Mann (written when he was twenty).

The narrator begins a conversation with a fellow countryman. The man asks, "Do you know what disillusionment is? Not a miscarriage in small unimportant matters, but the great and general disappointment which everything, all of life, has in store?"

He tells how, as a small boy, the house caught fire; yet as they watched it burn down he was thinking, "So this is a house on fire? Is that all?"

And ever since then, life has been a series of disappointments; all the great experiences have left him with the feeling: "Is that all?" ... And one day, death will come, and he expects it to be the last great disappointment. "Is this all?"

The song sung by Peggy Lee, ends just as Thomas Mann's story does, with the idea that death will be just one more disappointment. The verse to this song is actually spoken rather than sung...
Is that all there is? Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friend, Then let's keep dancing...

I wish I could talk with my mom about the song, but she's no longer here... I wonder what disappointments death brought her.

I beleive I was afraid to ask back then, that I didn't want to know all of the sadness in her life. It was enough just to watch.

Now, I too know that life can bring many disappointments, and like my mom, I just keep dancing.

MKC

First Love

Is it possible for a teenager to be in love?
Just peek in my diary.....I was so consumed I thought I would drown in the emotion. Age 14, never been kissed, never even held a boys hand...but I was a smitten, kitten. Gone, done, out of my league emotionally...new territory... scared, thrilled and about to wake-up!

The emotion of love has no age limits connected to it. We are capable of loving at any age. But first love is magical. It's our first steps into adulthood, without any of the responsibilities.

You just know that no one has ever loved the way you have, felt the way you feel, hurt the way you hurt. Every single nerve in your entire being is on alert...Hey baby...click your heels three times and the world is yours...you are IN love.

Just ask anyone...we all remember our first love. Few experiences will ever be as intense or overwhelming

I agree with Miss Rosemary...

"First romance, first love, is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically, that it touches our lives and enriches them forever."

- Rosemary Rogers

Forty years ago, I fell in love for the first time.... I never quite fell out of it.

MKC

...Pants on Fire

"I'm not upset that you lied to me,

I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."

Friedrich Nietzsche

Here's to a sincere, honest and mutually satisfying relationship.

When it comes to doing household chores,

men will often employ a crafty twofold lie and say,

"I said I'll do it, so I'll do it." This implies that not only

are they going to "do" whatever it is they are obviously

never going to do, but that their word is their bond - another lie.

Men would rather be honest, but saying "Not now,

I'm staring into space" wouldn't have the desired effect.

Men usually lie to women about being wild in their youth.

However, his story about the harrowing night

he spent in the police cells is just a sad exaggeration

of the time he was caught stealing a pencil and

sharpener from Smith's and cried like a baby

until his mom picked him up.

A lot of the lies that men tell are nothing more than harmless vanity, but some can be downright dangerous. Watch out for bluffs like, "I'm a strong swimmer" and "Of course I know how to sail a boat." Avoid any scenario where you might have to rely on these dubious talents.

Men usually lie about how hard they work. They have always

been experts at stretching two hours out into an eight hour day... two hours of actually working , one hour talking their buddies into golfing and the rest of the day doing just that.

A man who has been caught in a lie, will lie

about it well past the point of all rationality

because, in his mind, he has nothing to gain

by telling the truth. Even when presented

with incontrovertible evidence, a man will try

to wriggle out of it -

When a man says he's listening to you he's

not necessarily lying: he may really mean it,

But it's just white noise to him. Ask him to

repeat what you just said, and he may be able to recite one or two words...from 10 minutes before.

Men don't always have to lie. Yet they do

as instinctively as they grab their privates

on an hourly basis. Lies just shoot out of men's mouths with the ferocity of a machine gun.

These lies are often at the tip of their tongues,

ready for any situation, and often so full of holes

that they make Swiss cheese look like a water dam.

Of course, the one exception is when

a man says sex is great. Sex for men is one

of life's constants:

it's always pretty good.

Now, before you prepare for my stoning, let me just say that women lie too...they're just better at it.

...some thoughts taken from www.askmen.com

For Jordan

It’s not the stork with all the luck
You’ve two for one by showing pluck

and paying money to doctors who
Know how to fill ‘the old lady’s shoe’

So just in time for an Easter basket
A gift to help with your tax bracket

But after all is said and done
You have your girl and yes a son

And life now seems a little brighter
And your walk a whole lot lighter

But tighten up that belt of yours
prepare to change your list of chores

For night time feedings and loss of sleep
But joy of joys they're yours to keep

Feel the blessings from up above
And know that you are truly loved

mkc

What is life?

...A little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset-
Crowfoot 1821

Oh we never know where life will take us

I know it's just a ride on the wheel

And we never know when death will shake us

And we wonder how it will feel.

I saw a lot of things that made me crazy

And I guess I held on to you

I could of run away and left,

Well maybe...

But it wasn't time we both knew

Life's so fragile and love's so pure

We can't hold on but we try

We watch how quickly it disappears

And we wonderwhy

But I'm OK now

So goodbye my friend

I know I'll see you again

and the help you gave me through the years

Will take away these tears

Goodbye my friend, Goodbye my friend

Until I see you again

Liberties taken...

"Goodbye, My Friend"

by Linda Ronstadt

2008 Longmont

Not knowing what the day would bring
Awakened early by a scream
Throwing dishes, broken dreams
Always hurting so it seems

Locked away in my room
Hoping it would all end soon
Empty school yard held my hope
Hiding deep within to cope

Catatonic state of mind
What, were all the neighbors blind?

No one there to take our side
Leaving us to abide
With the abuse, neglect and stains
Of a bruised face still remains

Within my heart an empty space
God help me find a better place

mkc

"Be Happy Dammit"

1. Pain Exists. Life can hurt. Like a lot.
2. That pain back in LIFE LESSON #1 was for your benefit
3. Life is more mystery than misery
4. You always have a choice of emotional responses to life
5. Judge a tree by its fruits. And ditto for people.
6. Never go shopping for kiwis in a shoe store
7. You--and those you've befriended/worked
with/slept with--each of you--just like plants--
comes with your own unique feeding manual.
You must read each person's instruction manual
carefully--then proceed with caution!
8. We all come from the same
Big Bubbling Pot of World Primordial Nature Stew.
Because of this, you are governed--
along with your Pot Mates (like plants and flowers and bananas)
--under the same Laws of... Primordial Nature
9. The only constant is change...You never know.
10.Fear works like Interfear--stopping you get
what you really want/need.
11.If you keep doing what you've always been
doing, then you'll keep getting what you've
always been getting.
12.In order to see the path to what you want,
you must first see clearly what is holding you back.
13.If you want to change your life, you must first
be ready to see and feel some painful truths...
14.You must declare your own Independence
Day, then your own Independence Year, then
your own Independence Life. The purpose of
your life is to find the purpose of your life.
15.You must unlearn.
16.This is the secret to happiness--
in 3 words: rationalize, rationalize, rationalize.
17.You must celebrate Non-Judgement Day,
then Non-Judgement Year, then Non-Judgement Life.
18.You must relax and enjoy the ride.
19.You must not live in denial that disappointment
and failure and pain and conflict and darkness
and evil exist--they are out there.
20.You must have Great Non-Expectations.
21.You must remember that you are here now...
no, no, NOW...no, NOW!
22.It doesn't matter how fast you get there,
if you're heading in the wrong direction.
23.When you practice regular meditation,
you find you are able to see so much more.
24.When you become more calm and serene
on the inside, the world becomes more calm
and serene on the outside
25.You must understand that there is chaos
in this world--as well as order in all chaos.
The trick is to try to see the order in your
chaos and accept that...nothing in this universe is random.
26.You must show more respect for the invisible
world, because often what you don't see is what you get.
27.Worry and doubt can actually be prayers and
visualizations--and self-fulfilling programming--
for things you do not want
28.Chaos Theory affects you daily.
29.There's great power in: I Think Therefore I Have.
30.You recognize that work + time + faith = results.
31.Your faith determines your destiny. So you must
make sure your faith remains stronger than your mood.
32."Never compromise your dreams," Bazooka Joe has said.
33.When you let go of unnecessary attachments,
you pick up speed in heading toward your true goals. Let go.
34.You must live your life using the same philosophy
a mountain climber uses to climb a mountain:
"Never look down. Keep looking forward and upward."
35.Letting go and climbing up to higher life levels,
means building new emotional muscles.
And just like with all muscle growth, you will always
feel the pain before you see the growth.
36.Everything has its process. You must respect this process.
37.Often doing less, gets you more.
Truly: less is more...more or less.
38.You must create your own good luck.
You must be pro-active--and even pre-active.
39.Money will never bring you true happiness--
however, happiness will bring you true money.
40.You need balance, baby. It's called the
weekend--and not the "weakened."
41. Prozak Shmozak. Love is this Drug.
42.Just like there's sexual attraction, there's
love attraction. When you feel the love energy
inside you, other people feel it coming off of you--
and find themselves wildly--and oddly--attracted to you.
43.There's a difference between knowing vs. doing.
44.Live now, procrastinate later.
So there you have it. These 44 life lessons paint
an accurate picture of what "How to be Happy, Dammit" is all about.

I highly recommend it.

Dear Sweet, Daughter of Mine

DEAR SWEET DAUGHTER OF MINE
DON’T LET YOUR MOTHER’S TEARS BECOME YOUR OWN

LIFE HAS BROUGHT US DIFFERENT PATHS
TO TEACH US TRUTHS FROM SEEDS WE’VE SOWN

MY PATH LED ME TO DISTRUST
THEN WEIGHTED DOWN BY HURT AND LOSS
I KEPT MYSELF FROM OTHER’S LOVE

WITH PASSING TIME, I’VE COME TO KNOW
THAT TRUST BEGINS WITHIN ONE’S SELF
TO LISTEN AND TO FOLLOW THROUGH
ON WHAT YOUR HEART IS TELLING YOU

DEAR SWEET DAUGHTER OF MINE
MY LIFE IS BLESSED, MY FAITH RESTORED
BY YOU WHO’S LIFE IS SO DEVINE

AND NOW OUR PATHS CAN MERGE AS ONE
FOR YOU HAVE SHOWN ME BY YOUR LOVE
THAT THERE IS ONE WHO HOLDS MY HEART
AND KEEPS IT SAFELY IN HER OWN

YOU ARE THE WINDING VINE THAT BINDS
DEAR, SWEET DAUGHTER OF MINE

mkc

Crazy Is As Crazy Does

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

- Joe Ancis

A psychologist friend of mine(my brother, actually) says, "Neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them, and psychologists collect the rent!"

I have an adage that I live by - I ignore all neurotic statements made by normal people, and ANY statement made by neurotic people!

Remember, you don't have to put up with craziness - especially if it impacts your life!

Can people change? Well, - maybe. The next question is, will they? Probably not. The time and effort in trying to change behavior that has likely been learned over a lifetime is enormous.

So, the only thing we can do, is to tell ourselves that we will absolutely not accept any further crazy behavior - in other words, we expect saneness.

Now that really is crazy.

MKC