Broken Bones

so much joy equal pain
all from one source the same
complex choices crowd my brain
do i leave or remain
in this crazy making dream
where things aren't what they seem
artificial light exposed
both a friend and a foe
cold and lonely now it seems
lost in misery and pain
how to trust the light again from
the same source as before
is it lit from deep within
or artificial, once more...

mkc

If I Needed You

If I needed you
Would you come to me
Would you come to me For to ease my pain
If you needed me
I would come to you
I would swim the seas For to ease your pain
Well the night's forlorn And the morning's born
And the morning shines With the lights of love
And you'll miss sunrise
If you close your eyes
And that would break My heart in two
Baby's with me now
Since I showed her how
To lay Her lilly Hand in mine
Who would ill agree
She's a sight to see
A treasure for The poor to find
If I needed you
Would you come to me
Would you come to me For to ease my pain
If you needed me
I would come to you
I would swim the seas For to ease your pain

Happy Birthday, Taylor Ammon

Birthdays do not end with death, But last as long as love,

A maelstrom of memories That grace and honor move.
And so we celebrate your dayBy visiting your grave,

A place that you have left long since, But is all that we have.
Dear spirit, come and join us here,Your loved ones by your stone!

Come sweep across the barrier To claim us as your own!
Happy birthday, dearest one!Oh, happy, happy day!

Not even the most bitter night Can take this joy away!

(AUTHOR UNKNOWN)

He was Joy

I’M HOLDING MY BREATH … I DO THAT A LOT NOW

I FIND A MOMENT OF GRACE
BUT IT SLIPS FROM MY GRASP

HE’S PASSED ON…GONE

I WISH I COULD SEE HIS FACE,
HEAR HIS LAUGH, SEE HIM HIDING UNDER THE COVERS,
LISTEN TO HIM THIS TIME

WE SLEPT ON THE COUCH... HIM AT ONE END ME AT THE OTHER
TIME WAS OUR FRIEND

BUT I WAS AWAKE WHEN I SAW THE GRAVES ... PEACEFUL, BEAUTIFUL REALLY... I TURNED TO GET A BETTER VIEW

BUT MY EYES WERE CLOSED..I DIDN’T SEE…
TIME WAS OUR ENEMY
Taylor Dale Christensen...I miss you, mom
mkc

Full of Grace

As the days all go

morning comes with sweet surprise,pale light of earth reborn,i lay in bed with sad blue eyes,my love, in dream sojourn. the ceiling stares down on me,the floors stiffen for my weight, it seems a mere eternity that i lay and contemplate.

was just a moment of my dream that you were here once more,will you return if i remain in dreams that i adore?

or will you vanish once again as do the days all go,where misty morning blends again with evening’s dark shadow?

The Water Bug Story

....God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.

Revelation

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.
"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another, "One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she's going?" Up, up, up it slowly went... Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return...
"That's funny!" said one water bug to another... " Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second... "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third... No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.
Finally one of the water bugs gathered its friends together. "I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why." "We promise" they said solemnly.
One spring day not long after the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water and fallen into the broad and free lily pad above.
When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come over his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings... The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from his new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself above the water.
He had become a dragonfly. Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere.
By and by the new dragonfly landed happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying around, just as he had been doing some time before.
Then the dragonfly remembered the promise. without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water...
"I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least I tried. But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what has happened to me, and where I went."
And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air...
Dear Heavenly Father, please watch over our loved ones who have left the pond we live in...and please, give us peace and understanding...and soon...wings to fly

Your Heart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

For anyone, (actually probably everyone)who has already seen the show, "In her Shoes" you know exactly what Dale and I did tonight. We finally made it to a video store. This show was nothing like I expected. For some reason, I thought it would be a light hearted comedy....I was no where close. This is a wonderful story of sisters...of love and hurt, truth and secrets, laughter and tears... of blood being thicker than water. It's the thing that old movies, homemade fudge, and a box of tissues is made of. Saturday nights, in our tiny home, all snuggled together on the couch, watching old love movies from our mother's era....crying so hard that we couldn't breathe... Paul Newman, Robert Mitchum, Gary Grant...shared prom dresses, too much hair spray, first kisses, talking til we fell asleep, and yes, sharing shoes...No matter where life takes us, we will carry each other's heart in our own....forever.

Time

"Time cannot really be defined. It can only be spent or looked forward to or even remembered fondly"

We measure it, lose it, find it, spend it, save it, waste it, and are preoccupied with it's use but there never seems to be enough of it. Time can be active or passive - it flies, drags, runs out, passes, it can be taken, kept, lost, used, even killed - but no matter what we do to it or with it, it goes on … and on and on and on.

At times, "Time" is my biggest enemy. Having too much time to think, to mourn, to cry, to scream, to regret, to remember, to miss, to worry, to die a little more as each second passes and I can't stop things from happening...

But then I think of a "Time" when I laughed til I cried, and felt so much love that I thought my heart would burst. A "Time" when I believed in the impossible, when I knew things were just as they should be. A "Time" to sleep, to read, to play, to be at home with my children. "Time" to grow and become a better person. "Time" for my grandchildren, my friends, my family.

Time....it goes on with or without us...an enemy, a friend, a teacher? It depends... only time will tell.

Honesty

"The boat of truth may rock, but it will never sink"

Honesty. Hmm, cleanliness in one’s efforts and truth in one’s heart....

Cleanliness: exploring and changing consciousness and activity which blemish the self and raise doubts in others.

To truly be honest there must be honesty of the heart and also honesty of the head; otherwise, there will be self-deception or a tendency to deceive others by clouding issues with excuses or long-winded explanations.

When the mirror of the self is clean, feelings, nature, motives, and objectives are clearly visible, and the individual reflects trustworthiness.

Even with honesty, the boats going to rock, but trustworthiness guarantees the boat will not sink.

The courage of truth makes one worthy of trust. To be trusted and to trust provide the foundation and cohesion necessary for untarnished relationships, or for tarnished ones to shine like new. When there is honesty and cleanliness, there is also closeness.

So courage my friend...