Peace I leave With you

I awoke at 5:00 this morning and could no longer stay in bed. After 54 some years, good habits are hard to break.

I love Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. This morning in particular we are enjoying a fresh layer of snow. Seven to eight inches to be exact. When I looked out the window there was not a single mark. The sight was beautiful.

I received a DVD from our Relief Society and hadn't had a chance to open it yet. As I sat in the quiet morning of Christmas Day I watched and listened to "Peace I leave with you..." a beautiful DVD of the birth and mission of Christ. The music and images are astounding. It ends with Christ descending in glory surrounded by angels to reign on earth.

I can't imagine the loneliness of not knowing Christ as my personal Savior. He gives my life; my sorrows and joys purpose and meaning. He gives me hope. He heals me when other's can't. He knows me and he loves me. In him I find peace.

So I Wish...

T HAS BEEN SAID THAT WE BRING NOTHING INTO THIS WORLD AND TAKE NOTHING WITH US WHEN WE DEPART. BUT THAT WAS WRITTEN OF MATERIAL POSSESSIONS.

LL OF US BRING WITH US THE NEED TO LOVE, AND TO BE LOVED, AND TAKE WITH US, IN SPIRIT, THE KNOWLEDGE OF HAVING LOVED AND HAVING BEEN LOVED...

O I WISH FOR THE ABILITY TO REMEMBER THE GOOD THINGS AND FORGET THE REST, TO CREATE NEW MEMORIES AND TO BE SUSTAINED BY TRUST AND HOPE AND COURAGE, AND ALWAYS TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND.



AITHALDWIN

Sleepless in Sandy

It's now 5:26 AM and I've been out of bed since 4:00 and awake since 1:00.

I decided to take 1 and half of phentermine instead of one yesterday because I was eating way too much Christmas since I had been out of the prescription for a few days.

So I'm nuts knowing that it's Saturday and I have a zillion things to do and I'll look like crap because I didn't get any sleep but not so worried about increasing my dosage without talking to my doc.

My sister told me she threw her scales out because she felt like she was becoming obsessive about her weight. Not that I told her but isn't it normal to weigh your self two or three times a day? And I didn't think anything of increasing the phentermine to help me not eat sooo much yesterday. And hello, it worked, I didn't eat all day! The only problem and it was a little one was I also couldn't quit talking and then of course now I can't sleep.

But I don't know that I'd call that obsessive. Just concerned about my health.

Merry Christmas

What to do

My friend shared with me a story of a woman who supported her husband through a mid-life crisis. He had been a Bishop, who had an affair that resulted in pregnancy. She stuck with him. Nearly 20 years of sticking with him....Now some 20 years later, I'd like to be able to say that they are more in love than ever. That this crisis of faith and trust pulled them together. That her years of sacrifice, putting her hurt and pain on the back burner to keep her family whole was worth it!

But that's not life...life is unpredictable. You can never ever know what another person will do. Twenty years ago she chose to forgive. She did what she thought was right. It probably was right for her at the time and certainly for her children.

Yet at age 60 he has betrayed her again. What's a woman to do?

Insulin Resistance

A few years back I was walking around 5 miles a day 6 days a week and gaining about 10 lbs a month. Sure I had been through some murder thought producing events, but I was still functioning. Going to work every day, still exercising, being a mom, attending church.



Scared by the weight gain I went to my OBGYN. He didn't think I was depressed but did prescribe Prozac because in high doses one of the side effects was weight loss. I was thrilled at the prospect of losing the weight. So I said sure let's give it a try.



The next month I had put on another 10lbs. Let's increase the dose he said. By this time I was terrified to go off it. This continued for several months, each time he would increase the dose. If I was gaining weight on this what would happen if I stopped. By the time I was up to 4 pills a day, enough to put a horse to sleep, he suggested I go to his friend who was prescribing Phentermine. I lost 10 lbs. Unfortunately, I wasn't like the other stepford wifes who wasted away to nothing. 10 lbs was the limit even though I stayed on it for over two years. In fact, I'd probably still be on it today if they hadn't taken it off the market. Only then, did the Dr. admit that he didn't know what was wrong with me and perhaps I should see a specialist.



I walked into the endocrinologists office and within less than 5 minutes he had a diagnoses. Insulin Resistance! He said it wouldn't have mattered how many pills I'd taken or how much I'd exercised. If I was consuming more than 20 grams of carbs a day, I'd continue to gain weight! By this time I weighed over 200 lbs(up from 118) had damage to my heart valve and my cholesterol had gone from 137 to 270! I was a mess.

Happy Hanukkah

Hanukkah is the annual Jewish festival celebrated on eight successive days beginning on the 25th day of Kislev, the third month of the Jewish calendar, corresponding, approximately, to December in the Gregorian calendar. It is also known as the Festival of Lights, Feast of Dedication, and Feast of the Maccabees, Hanukkah commemorates the rededication of the Temple of Jerusalem by Judas Maccabee in 165 BC after the Temple had been profaned by Antiochus IV Epiphanes, king of Syria and overlord of Palestine.

The festival is observed by the kindling of lights on each night of the holiday: one on the first night, two on the second, and so on. The lights should burn for half an hour after it gets dark. As they light the candles each night they recite blessings over them in Hebrew.

Don't you just love tradition

The truth & nothing BUTT the truth

No more complainin about my butt getting bigger. Some things you just can't buy!http://view.break.com/409510

With God's Help

I've never gotten into reading other people's blogs until recently. I was given the address of a friend's family blog, that I knew in high school. It has been so fun because the main blog has all of these other family blogs that I can link into. I have been able to read his brother's and sister's and their children's blogs. It has been wonderful to see how these families are doing. Their triumphs and struggles. How they have persevered and pulled together. There is a definite family "look" and it's been fun to see that too.

Of course many of their joys and sadness's are the same as the rest of us. It never ceases to amaze me how different we can be and yet so much alike. I grew up with the idea that no family was as great as mine. Even though I knew we had HUGE problems I still felt that we were the greatest and closest family in the world. It never occurred to me that every family feels that way about each other.

A few nights ago, driving home from work I started thinking about my nephews wedding and wondered if his oldest brother and his family would be there. I discovered that there has been a breach in the relationship of this son with his father, my brother, and he has chosen to cut himself off from the family.

I have another brother whose daughter has cut herself off from him. I asked myself what it would take for me to make the decision to have nothing to do with a parent, a child, a brother or sister. I asked a friend the same question. I asked my husband what his boundary would be.

For me it would depend on the closeness of the relationship. If it were a toxic friend who I discovered wasn't a friend at all it would be an easier decision. But for a relative I can't imagine any thing that would keep me from them. I may set boundaries and protect myself and especially others if I felt it could be dangerous-but I would never cut them out of my life.

In Sunday school last week the teacher was saying that there are some people who no matter what won't accept the gospel while on this earth, and that we shouldn't waste our time trying to convert them. I really took exception to this remark. We are all born with the spirit of Christ in each of us. The very fact that we are on this earth shows that at one time we KNEW that the plan was right and we voted to support God and his son Jesus Christ. How could you ever give up on someone and call yourself a christian.

I remember a different talk by a general authority that is more in line with my way of thinking. He said that we are all trying to become the person that we were meant to be. How wonderful if when trouble comes we would turn to one another and offer a hand to pull the other up and in their turn they could offer a hand to us. To stand by one another in our weakness, to me, is Christ's way.

I want to talk with my nephew and niece and remind them how short and fragile life is. To please not waste this time in anger only to find that regret is your companion.

We are all in this together. Life is difficult at best. Be generous in your judgements and allow God to heal your hurts. That truly is the only answer. Everything else falls short.