...Pants on Fire

"I'm not upset that you lied to me,

I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."

Friedrich Nietzsche

Here's to a sincere, honest and mutually satisfying relationship.

When it comes to doing household chores,

men will often employ a crafty twofold lie and say,

"I said I'll do it, so I'll do it." This implies that not only

are they going to "do" whatever it is they are obviously

never going to do, but that their word is their bond - another lie.

Men would rather be honest, but saying "Not now,

I'm staring into space" wouldn't have the desired effect.

Men usually lie to women about being wild in their youth.

However, his story about the harrowing night

he spent in the police cells is just a sad exaggeration

of the time he was caught stealing a pencil and

sharpener from Smith's and cried like a baby

until his mom picked him up.

A lot of the lies that men tell are nothing more than harmless vanity, but some can be downright dangerous. Watch out for bluffs like, "I'm a strong swimmer" and "Of course I know how to sail a boat." Avoid any scenario where you might have to rely on these dubious talents.

Men usually lie about how hard they work. They have always

been experts at stretching two hours out into an eight hour day... two hours of actually working , one hour talking their buddies into golfing and the rest of the day doing just that.

A man who has been caught in a lie, will lie

about it well past the point of all rationality

because, in his mind, he has nothing to gain

by telling the truth. Even when presented

with incontrovertible evidence, a man will try

to wriggle out of it -

When a man says he's listening to you he's

not necessarily lying: he may really mean it,

But it's just white noise to him. Ask him to

repeat what you just said, and he may be able to recite one or two words...from 10 minutes before.

Men don't always have to lie. Yet they do

as instinctively as they grab their privates

on an hourly basis. Lies just shoot out of men's mouths with the ferocity of a machine gun.

These lies are often at the tip of their tongues,

ready for any situation, and often so full of holes

that they make Swiss cheese look like a water dam.

Of course, the one exception is when

a man says sex is great. Sex for men is one

of life's constants:

it's always pretty good.

Now, before you prepare for my stoning, let me just say that women lie too...they're just better at it.

...some thoughts taken from www.askmen.com