A Caged Bird

A person, ultimately, will do, think, and feel what they will.....no amount of "policing" or "wishing" or "demanding" from an outside source will change that truth. You can't make some one stay or leave., cheat or be faithful. It has very little to do with anyone but the person making the choice.

A person can spend so much of their time trying to control some one else that they forget who they are....they lose their life in trying to change someone else's.

I spent years trying to police Dale's activities. I thought if I kept him away from certain people, or places, that I would be able to keep "us" safe and out of trouble. There were actually spiritual advisors in my life who fostered that way of thinking......I have since learned that no one has that kind of power in another person's life. My "policing" stopped nothing and protected no one. .

There is but one truth when it comes to people....As long as what they are doing works for them...they keep doing it....good or bad. What ever it is that they need....as long as that need is being met....it works. One caveat......People don't always know or care if what they're doing is healthy, and they can spend a life time doing the wrong thing.

If they become aware that it's not healthy then it's still "their" choice...continue or quit. We're not part of the equation....

That being said, one can't and shouldn't be threatened by the fact that a person has choices, A caged bird is not a happy bird...it's only a bird with no other choice.

You choose and they choose.....

your first love, your greatest love, your last love, your best friend....it matters not.....

So let go......control is an illusion. Find joy in the fact that you are with someone because you choose to be with them and they are with you because they choose to be with you.

As long as there are more reasons to stay than go...most people stay...maybe that's enough....it's really up to you..



Myra K. Christensen