Shhhhhh....she's sleeping

I was thinking the other day that I'd been neglecting my blog....

I even got an e-mail from a friend asking: "why no new blog entries"?...so I googled 'neglecting my blog' and guess what?


I'm not alone! It appears that writing in your blog only happens when you don't have anything else to do.

Could that be true? Go ahead google it. "...I've been a bad girl", ..."probably going to happen now and then" ..."it's been awhile" the list goes on and on, all excusing themselves because they've been busy.

So does that mean that I have a life or that I need to get a life? I'm busy writing about my life or I'm busy living my life...OR.....

could it be that I am now fighting my 7 year old grand daughter for on-line time???? The fact that I'm writing this from work confirms it. I've lost the rights to my home computer!



Having just now discovered the truth, I pledge to fight my way back to the top. After all, I am the oldest, I had it first, I pay the bills.......

Shhhh....I'll just wait 'til she goes to bed.

MKC

The Weighting Game

Last night as I'm sitting down to enjoy some hot baked cookies, I casually mention to Trev that I'm thinking of going on medi-fast-a liquid diet.

What was I thinking saying such a ridiculous thing to my fitness trainer, highest certification in the country son! Especially, while eating hot caramelized chocolate chip covered cookies!!!

For the next several(seemed like a life time)minutes my weight was the topic of discussion. Well, actually, my complaining about my weight while eating such non-conducive weight losing things such as the cookies I was trying to enjoy. Jen, soon found a reason to leave the room and my always supportive husband chimed in(as I was defending how little I'd eaten on Sunday)that I had forgotten the 170 calorie protein drink I had while at church. Hello! Was that really necessary to point out!!!

I know what I need to do to lose weight. There are all kinds of excuses or reasons; i.e. being tired, time, escape, whatever....they don't really matter. If I wanted to do it, I'd do it.

I keep looking for something that will give me that extra motivation. Whether it's a quick fix(liquid diet), asking Trev for help, joining a group....I'm just trying to get motivated by SOMETHING. But I know, until I WANT TO DO IT it's not going to happen. And the last thing I want is for anyone to feel responsible for me eating healthy.

Since we're living under the same roof these days, it complicates things. Even though I have asked for help, and talked about eating like Trev and Jen, in reality I don't want to feel monitored. Home is where I go to relax and be myself and do what I want to do, good or bad.

No doubt, some good changes will occur because they are living with us; like the vegi burgers they prepared for dinner the other night, and bike riding with Baylie, and having all the extra love and life in the home...This makes me very happy!

I know my kids love me and that they worry about my health. My not being active and at a reasonable weight, is a new thing to all of us. But what is, is.

I'm actually in a pretty good place right now and can see a desire growing to become more active and to eat more healthy foods. I've been making some subtle changes, and I see that as moving in the right direction.

Honestly, this is the first time in my life I've taken vitamins! So good things are happening.

Connecting the Dots

LIFE CHANGES IN THE INSTANT. YOU SIT DOWN TO DINNER AND LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT ENDS
(JOAN DIDION)

IT DOESN'T HELP TO ASK WHY

YOU CAN'T CONNECT THE DOTS LOOKING FORWARD; YOU CAN ONLY CONNECT THEM LOOKING BACKWARDS. SO YOU HAVE TO TRUST THAT THE DOTS WILL SOMEHOW CONNECT IN YOUR FUTURE. YOU HAVE TO TRUST IN SOMETHING — YOUR GUT, DESTINY, LIFE, KARMA, WHATEVER

THE FOLLOWING IS ABOUT CONNECTING THE DOTS

ISN’T IT TRUE HOW THE HARD THINGS IN LIFE
MAKE US THE PEOPLE WE ARE

AND IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE LIFE EASY
BUT WOULD WE HAVE COME QUITE SO FAR

FOR ALL OF MY SENSE AND MY KNOWLEDGE
I STILL MISS YOU I STILL WISH THAT YOU WERE HERE

I WISH YOU WELL BUT I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE
I WISH YOU WELL AND I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE

ISN’T IT GOOD TO FORGIVE HOW THINGS WERE
GRATEFUL FOR WHO YOU ARE NOW

AND THANKFUL TO ALL WHO HAVE PASSED THROUGH YOUR LIFE
WHO HURT YOU AND WHO SHOWED YOU HOW

BUT SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO CALL YOU
MAKES ME ANGRY KNOWING HOW I MISS YOU HERE

I WISH YOU WELL BUT I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE,
I WISH YOU WELL AND I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE

AND WHEN THEIR GONE WE TRY TO SWIM AGAINST THE TIDE
YOU CAN’T MOVE ON UNTIL YOU STOP DENYING
JUST HOW MUCH THEY TOUCHED YOUR LIFE... HERE


HERE, I WISH YOU WELL BUT I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE
I WISH YOU WELL AND I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE

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